It has come to the Bureau's attention that you have been displaying these words without doing them.
This is a formal matter. You will now live, laugh and love, in that order, under supervision. It takes about two minutes. There is no way to fail, but there are several ways to embarrass yourself, and I will be noting them down.
This is Gerald. Gerald is a heart. Gerald has the survival instincts of a dropped sandwich. Keep him alive for ten seconds — tap him whenever he starts to fade.
I will now tell jokes until you laugh. I have prepared several. I am not proud of all of them.
Screenshot this for your records.
This assessment was commissioned by a third party. The Bureau does not reveal its clients. They know who they are.
Direct all feedback, complaints and lingering feelings to them.